Goodbye Is The Goal
How lucky am I to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard. - Author: A.A. Milne
For full disclosure, I am not very familiar with A.A. Milne or his works. In fact, I haven’t even read any of the Winnie the Pooh books, although I do think Eyeore is a superb name for a donkey. To be honest, I was trying to remember the Boyz II Men lyric, couldn’t quite place it, and this one came up on the Google machine instead. That said, this quote does capture the essence of dog fostering quite well (thank you Alan Alexander!).
Whenever dog fostering comes up in conversation, there is one comment and one question that come up quite often and really both are along the same lines. The most frequent comment tends to be: “I could never do it. I’d grow too attached to the dog.” And the number one question seems to be: “Isn’t it really hard when they get adopted?”
And the short answer to the question part is yes—sometimes it can be pretty tough, but it is also totally worth it.
Without wanting to turn this blog into a digital form of a psychiatrist’s couch, I have two memories I’d like to share. The first is about my first ever foster dog, a giant teddy bear called Larry, aka LarBear. Given that he was my first, it scared the living bejeezus out of me that I would mess it up, which in some weird way also meant I grew extremely attached to him quite quickly. Four weeks into adopting him, I remember getting the call on a Saturday afternoon that he’d gotten adopted and feeling happy but also simultaneously like I’d been kicked in the stomach.
The second was Elvis, the king of pup’n’roll. Anyone who has met Elvis has immediately been enamored with him. He’s just one of those dogs that when people (myself included) talk about him, you just get that nostalgic far-off look in your eye and immediately say “aaaaaahhh Elvis.” The dude just oozes charisma, personality and charm. I was lucky enough to foster him for around three months towards the start of the pandemic. When he got adopted, it all came together quite quickly. Dropping him off at his new home was a tough day and there were definitely some tears shed (and some questionable looks from a grocer as I blubbed outside his store).
All this takes us back to Milnerama, as he probably wouldn’t like to be known. While saying goodbye is sometimes hard, I genuinely feel very lucky in getting to hang out with these doggos. Being able to spend time with them after they get rescued and hopefully setting them up for success in their forever homes is such a rewarding experience that it really overrides the tougher moments.
What I’ve loved about fostering with Muddy Paws is that everyone in the organization truly cares about the welfare and well-being of the dogs. That means the adoptions team works incredibly hard to ensure that the pups are going to suitable homes. And I feel exceptionally fortunate to have witnessed this first hand. I’ve kept in close touch with several adoptive parents who have been nice enough to share photos and videos of dogs living their best lives in their new homes. In fact, I’ve met up with several after adoption and it’s so great to see them happy and in their element, be it Amber on the beach, Marvin in Central Park or Amelia on a leisurely stroll along the East River. I even got to dog-sit Elvis a few weeks ago and loved every minute of it.
Without wanting to sound too cheesy, these dogs really deserve a chance. They’re loyal and loving animals, each with their own personalities and unique quirks. And the more people that are able to foster (hopefully multiple times!), the more great dogs that can be rescued and given the shot they undoubtedly deserve. While it’s sometimes hard to say goodbye, knowing it’s best for the dogs really makes it all worthwhile.
Brendan Graham is a Muddy Paws foster. You can follow him on Instagram.
